Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Coming Carbon-Credits Cambrian Explosion


The Imminent Carbon Offsets Bubble

"Would you like a carbon credit with your fries?"

With the incoming Obama administration, with an impoverished Wall Street desperately seeking bonuses in the Dust Bowl of The Great Credit Crunch, and with a global-warming tipping point looming in the offing, we will soon experience a Carbon-Credits Cambrian Explosion of unimaginable scale.

How BIG will the Carbon Credit Bubble become ?

So BIG that Hollywood stars living in Santa Barbara will agree to CO2 sequestration projects in their backyards and claim carbon credits. So BIG that mid-west farmers will tape vibration-activated ignition devices to the butts of their cows to flare methane emissions and then claim carbon credits. So BIG, restaurant chains will stop serving baked beans and file claims for green-house-gas emission reductions.

So BIG, crematorium owners will shut down, become total deadbeats and live off their claimed carbon offsets. So BIG, Detroit auto execs will fly first-class instead of using private corporate jets and then claim carbon credits. So BIG, fast-food chains will offer you uncooked fries and the opportunity to buy a matching nano carbon offset.

So BIG your stockbroker, who by definition makes you broker, and your insurance agent will be calling to sell you:

-- (1) Carbon-backed Securities

-- (2) Carbon Default Swaps

-- (3) Collateralized Carbon Obligations

-- (4) Carbon Sequestration Annuities

-- (5) Individual Carbon Retirement Accounts

-- (6) Carbon Cancer Insurance

-- (7) Carbon Burial Insurance

-- (8) Catastrophic Global Warming Insurance

-- (9) Methane Explosion Liability Insurance

-- (10) Carbon offset hedge funds, and, it follows logically:

-- (11) Carbon offset hedge funds of funds.

So BIG.......well, you get the picture.

And in the face of this menagerie of beastly offsets from the Rich Countries of the World, how will Carbon Micro Credits from Africa and Asia fare ? Will they find a market at a living wage ? Is there indeed a Carbon Santa Claus for the deserving Poor in the Developing World ? Or will the Rich in the Developed World game the system to make the lease payments on their Jaguars and Escalades ?

The answer really depends on YOU. Spread the Word today about cell-phone-based Carbon Micro Credits and the superior merit of carbon offsets produced by poor INDIVIDUALS and FAMILIES in the Developing World living on less that US$ 1 - 2 per day. Carbon Micro Credits are daily manna from Heaven for the Poor. Make sure they stand at the front of the line wherever carbon offsets are sold.

Globally & warmly yours,

David A. Palella
Caped Carbon Crusader

San Diego, CA
tel: 858-793-0741