Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The All-you-can-eat Micro Carbon Buffet !


From the Mega Nitrogen Revolution to the Micro Carbon Revolution

The South Beach Diet a la Leningrad

I'll eat my hat if you can guess what this post is about !

If you are lucky enough to be reading this blog, you are most likely a well-fed caloric beneficiary of The Mega Nitrogen Revolution of the 19th and 20th centuries. Courtesy of man-made fertilizers produced from ammonia, natural gas and potash, you and your billion+ peers in America, Japan & Europe are unduly-fortunate recipients of calories and protein beyond the comprehension of most residents of today's Developing World.

Are your pants a touch tight? Your skivvies now a wedgie? Is your dress riding up? Your full-capacitance bra now an electrifying double Jack-in-the-box? Is your face full and are your cheeks rosy ? Praise the Lord ! -- you are very well fed !

Now, do me a favor -- if you are reading this blog on a full stomach, sign off now, don't eat for 18 - 24 hours, and then come back.

......tick tock tick tock tick tock.....

......18 - 24 hours later -- are you hungry now ?

If so, you will definitely think more clearly and rationally. Now your priorities are correct -- now you are in the basement of Maslow's Hierarchy.

Welcome ! -- to the "Bottom of the Pyramid" ! -- where the Poor in the Developing World regularly miss meals and go hungry. Hey ! -- why not miss another meal, just to build up an appetite for the dessert of this post? Come back and read this blog tomorrow -- after fasting again.

......tick tock tick tock tick tock.....

Keep trying this routine for weeks, or months, or years. Now you truly feast in the Dungeon of Alimentary Despair. Now you would even eat a mud pie, like the Poor are doing today in Haiti. Hunger is the First Mother of All Invention. Case in point ?

Thirty years ago when I learned Russian at the Defense Language Institute (DLI) in Monterey, California, one of my teachers was a Russian émigrée who lived through the German Siege of Leningrad during World War II -- "The 900 Days." In fact, fittingly, as a survivor of the Siege, she was chosen in the early 1970s to translate Harrison Salisbury's book of the same title from English into Russian for distribution (surreptitiously) in the Soviet Union.

How did the residents of Leningrad survive almost 3 years of German siege without food imports? I'll eat my hat if you can guess! No, of course not! -- the dogs and cats were first to go. Silly you. They were eaten looooong ago. Then all the wild animals at the Leningrad Zoo. Then tasty leather goods -- purses, belts and seat coverings -- were cut up, cooked and eaten. Then the starchy glue used to apply wallpaper in houses made a dandy soup, and then, then....

Cannibalism. -- Yes, man ate man, woman and children. Woman ate woman, man and child. And how could you tell the man-eaters from the rank & file starving living on bread and water? She told me -- the cannibals had fuller faces and "rosy cheeks".

Uh-oh......go look in the mirror now. How do you look ? Whose protein have you been eating ? OK, only a cow's ? Only a pig's ? Well, still, how lucky you are! And moreover, how BIG your carbon footprint is! Remember, one Big Mac alone generates about 4.7 pounds of CO2.

So, now, after this experiment, do you still begrudge the Poor in the Developing World their daily Carbon Micro Credit (CMC), whether they were able to earn it or not by NOT cooking with biomass? If mentally and physically you were truly at the "Bottom of the Pyramid" when you read this, TODAY you will start supporting our Crusade to help feed the World's hungry via the MARKETS-BASED, SELF-FUNDING mechanism of the cell-phone-based Carbon Micro Credit (CMC). It does not cost you anything, nothing but your Conscience if you do not take action.

The Mega Nitrogen Revolution served you well. Now let the Micro Carbon Revolution set the table well for the next billion, or two or three.

"Divide your portion to seven, or even to eight, for you do not know what misfortune may occur on the earth" -- Ecclesiastes 11:2

"Woe unto you that are full now! for ye shall hunger" -- Luke 6:25

Happily, however, the World will never run out of man-made CO2. So for the next few centuries at least, pull up a chair to the all-you-can-eat carbon buffet. Bone appetit ! [sic].

Hyper-calorically yours,

David A. Palella
Chief Carbon Nutritionist

San Diego, CA
tel: 858-793-0741
email: dpalella@san.rr.com